strength

someone told me tonight that i am a courageous person. it's nice to hear. and i think i agree. as i get closer to my 30th birthday (not this coming birthday but the next), and i continue to pursue my dreams, i feel more and more sure of who i am. however, these days i've had some questions and wonderings about that said identity. lately, i have been nostalgic and with that having to shoo off regret and "wish had been"s. but with changes, new beginnings and adjustments, comes naturally (for me, at least) thinking of what was and who i used to be at different periods of life. i found some old letters and emails the other week at my parents' place. reminders of friendships that i thought would never change and of who i was in those times... and i have embarked on reconnecting with a few of these important "golden eggs". i think i need people in my life that have known me longer and can remind me of who i am in ways that people who more recently have meet and known me can't. and with the commencement of the schoolyear i've also tried to begin to reconnect with school buds who i have not talked to much this summer. it's a place of awkwardness and discomfort in self-awareness, all this change. tonight's encouraging words were happily drunk in.